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Submitted on
December 30, 2009
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Her cold hands trace the lands spreading pallor;
In their wake, antique lace of crystal ice-
Scrimshaw tracery of pale frost flowers;
Tears a fickle flurry from fragile skies-

But bitter is her wintered breath the wind,
And ghostly the sound of its satin sighs;
Blue-veined deep the frozen lake of her skin;
Her voice a swansong of icicle lies-

Skeletal spine studded with evergreen-
The sheen of her shimmering white-wove veil
Crowned with holly bush and poinsettia leaf;
Her eyes drowning blue, her skin ghostly pale.
:iconthewrittenrevolution: If this poem could talk it would say:

Sonnets be damned.

I have no need for that last rhyming couplet, thank you very much.

I am perfect exactly the way I am.

But I, personally, wonder... Do I need that last couplet?
Is it less legit without it? Every couplet I try to stick there winds up making the whole piece seem cliched, but I feel like a cheater without it.

And is the imagery overdone?
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:iconpoetrywriter27:
that's a good discription of winter you have written about, you paint a very good picture with your writing keep up the good work with your writing 
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:iconleyghan:
leyghan Dec 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Lovely this! wholly and completely from the first line to the last.
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:iconlombregrise:
lombregrise Dec 13, 2012  Professional Writer
invité ici /feat here : [link] :sun:
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:iconautumnlit:
Oh this is beautiful! I love how it shifts, "But bitter is her wintered breath the wind, And ghostly the sound of its satin sighs;" Lovely work! :heart:
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by =DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here: [link]

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article. Keep writing and keep creating.
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:iconlombregrise:
lombregrise Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
bravo :)
Reply
:iconladyofgaerdon:
LadyofGaerdon Dec 11, 2012  Professional Writer
This is gorgeous. If you could find a closing couplet I think it would improve it, but it's lovely as is.
Reply
:iconazizriandaoxrak:
AzizrianDaoXrak Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is just a friendly note to let you know this lovely piece has been FEATURED! [link]

I'd appreciate it if you stopped by to take a peek at the other pieces and faved the article to support the other artists!
Reply
:iconjamberry-song:
jamberry-song Jan 21, 2010  Professional General Artist
Quite lovely. Some beautiful imagery and alliteration here.

There are some spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors that could be cleaned up pretty quickly to get this all perfect and polished. Would you like me to help you with them?
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:iconlacydrawers:
LACYDRAWERS Jan 20, 2010  Professional Writer
Ahhhh dear Kate...
We are our own harshest critics.
Your sonnet is filled to the brim with imagery and each snippet in its perfect place to make this a sonnet worth reading...:iconhrtplz:
Reply
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